Top 10 Responses to Social Security Reform

Ah, mid-winter... The big inaugural prelude. The goal now is to make it look like Bush's second term was a mandate for social security reform. When someone asks you what you think about the president's plan, here are few ways to re-center the debate:

(10) Yep, I guess Bush has to get it up above 11,000 somehow.

(9) Why, no, I didn't... did they lower the terror alert too?

(8) I guess it don't matter who steals our retirement cause if the dollar keeps sliding, its gonna be worthless anyhow.

(7) Let me ask you something, you think Sgt. Irizarry, you know, that father of four from the Bronx who died a couple of weeks ago... you think he went over there to fight in the desert so George W. Bush could make Wall Street rich off your grandma's retirement money?

(6) No, I didn't hear that, I was too busy figuring out how to afford medical insurance.

(5) If you believe there is a social security crisis, then I got a bridge in Baghdad to sell you.

(4) Yeah, I heard about that. I bet my broker is licking his chops.

(3) Jesus Christ.... Hasn't Ken Lay stolen enough?

(2) I did. I still haven't heard: "Bin Laden Captured" though. Have you?

(1) Well how else they gonna pay for Christmas son?